


It'll always be Ash

by twoheartsx



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Character Death, Drug Abuse, It's super short and here to make you sad, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Porn with Feelings, Set after the end of the series, Unrequited Love, brief sex scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-10-05 23:24:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17334335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twoheartsx/pseuds/twoheartsx
Summary: Sing tries to hold Eiji together. Eiji, in love with a ghost. Sing, in love with a man who wouldn't ever return his feelings.





	It'll always be Ash

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt Ghosts/Sorrow I had to choose SingEiji. I cried writing this. I hope you guys enjoy.

It broke Sing’s heart. It hurt every time he saw Eiji sad. Every day Eiji mourned a man who’d been gone for over eight years now. Sing hoped with time it would get better, but it seemed it never did. Eiji kept to himself, his hair grown long. Some days Sing had to make food for him. Most days Eiji barely ate. It hurt Sing so much to see Eiji like this. He didn’t even recognize him anymore. The once bright eyed photographer now sat in sorrow. Sing felt so guilty. It was his brother who killed Ash. If only he was there he could have said something, done something. Sing didn’t know why Ash choose to die. Maybe that’s what haunted Eiji the most. Ash just gave up. That’s what hurt the most. 

~

Sing let out a low moan as Eiji full settled himself on Sing’s length. They did this sometimes. When Eiji really needed it. Sing was hesitant at first. He didn’t think Eiji really wanted this, but he did. He wanted to be touched, to feel something. 

Eiji began moving his hips, hands on Sing’s shoulders. Sing moaned, watching as his dick slid in and out of Eiji. He could tell Eiji was enjoying himself. Sing loved these moments, and hated them at the same time. He loved Eiji was enjoying himself so much. He was letting go. In that moment he didn’t feel sorrow, only pleasure.

“Ash,” Eiji moaned out. It was an accident. He was always too caught up in the moment. Sing always pretended not to notice. That’s what he hated about this. Because in the heat of passion it wasn’t Sing on Eiji’s mind, it was Ash. It was always Ash.

~

Sing sighed as he watched his boss, Lee Yut-Lung, spread out on the couch. They’d been working through some papers. It seemed running Chinatown was a lot more work than Sing would have thought. It was always around this time that his boss would get bored or tired of working and just take a break. It didn’t matter much since they were mostly done for the day. 

“How’s Eiji?” Yut-Lung asked, standing up from where he was laying. He crossed the room with all the grace and carefulness that had been drilled into him from childhood. 

“He’s good, I guess.” Sing answered. He’d been working quite a bit lately. Eiji had seemed to be doing better. The last few years slowly easing the ache or so Sing had thought. 

“Why are you asking?” Sing questioned. He watched as Yut-Lung picked up a glass, filling it with water and taking a sip. He’d heard the Lee was trying to cut back on drinking. Sing wasn’t sure his reason, but was happy to see it nonetheless. 

“I worry about him is all.” Yut-Lung answered with a shrug. He walked over to his bag, grabbing out a bottle of pills. He took them to Sing and set them down. He frowned and said, “Eiji hasn’t been completely honest with you.” 

“Eiji’s popping pills?” Sing asked, picking up the bottle. He watched Yut-Lung down the rest of his drink, setting the glass on Sing’s desk. 

“A few months back he came to me and begged I give them to him.” Yut-Lung answered. Sing frowned at this and sighed. 

“I’m not trying to stir anything up, just I did enough damage.” Yut-Lung walked over to where he’d been sitting before. He quickly shoved all his things into his bag. 

“Thank you for telling me.” Sing said. He didn’t know what to do with this information. He didn’t know how to help Eiji. 

“I just want someone to get their happy ending.” Yut-Lung answered, placing the bag on his shoulder. “If anyone deserves to be happy it’s you and him.” 

“You’ll get your happy ending too you drama queen.” Sing teased. Yut-Lung only gave him a small smile, it didn’t quite reach his eyes. The youngest Lee walked over to Sing.

“Take care of Chinatown.” Yut-Lung said and leaned in, pressing a kiss against Sing’s cheek. “Goodbye, Sing Soo-Ling.” 

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Sing gave Yut-Lung a small smile. The youngest Lee just adjusted his bag on his shoulder and walked out. 

That was the last time Sing spoke to Lee Yut-Lung. The last time he saw the man’s face. 

~

“I know about the pills.” Sing whispers. Eiji just smiled sadly at him as they stand by a freshly filled grave. Roses of all colors cover the grave. It’s fitting considering roses had always been Yut-Lung’s favorite. 

“He told you.” Eiji replied. Sing just nodded his head, staring at the letters carved into stone. Beloved son, friend and brother. Painful in the irony that his brothers hated him and his friends could be counted on one hand. Even though the word beloved was written across the stone Sing couldn’t help but think how Yut-Lung spent most of his short life feeling only the opposite of that. 

“He wanted you to be happy.” Sing said, placing a rose down. Yut-Lung’s final words hanging in Sing’s mind. How he’d wanted both of them happy. The kiss on the cheek and that sad look in his eyes. Yut-Lung knew his life was over. Sing wondered if he’d ever even lived. Had he ever felt alive? 

“I’ll stop taking the pills.” Eiji said as he set a rose on the grave. “In his honor. Because he wanted it.” 

Eiji leaned on Sing and started crying. Even after everything Yut-Lung had done Eiji mourned him. 

“It’s sad.” Eiji sobbed. He kept his gaze on the grave. “It’s only us. No one else came to say goodbye to him.” 

“It is sad.” Sing wrapped Eiji in and hug and started crying as well. 

“No one deserves to be so unloved that no one mourns their death.” Eiji whispered, wiping the tears from his eyes. 

“Mister Lee has few that loved him but I’m sure in the end he knew he was cared for.” Blanca spoke as he stepped up to set a rose down. Both Sing and Eiji were surprised when he showed up. He’d been at Ash’s funeral it was only fair he also say goodbye to Yut-Lung. 

“I hope so.” Sing replied, looking at the name carved in stone. 

Lee Yut-Lung had died. 

~

Eiji kept his word. He stopped popping pills. Sing moved back in to help Eiji and often spent nights in his room. Eiji had a lot of bad dreams and Sing couldn’t help his need to be near Eiji. He held a love for Eiji, one he’d never admit to. 

“Ash,” Eiji whimpered in his sleep further curling into the blankets. Sing frowned and rolled over. He remembered another thing Yut-Lung had once said. 

“It was always Ash. It’ll always be Ash.” 

Sings heart broke just a little bit more. He couldn’t take Ash’s place. Ash and Eiji would be in love forever and Sing would be a fool wishing for more.


End file.
